Interview

Here's a little mini interview with me about the preceding track in iOS Music And You.

Thursday, Two PM

Sounds to Confuse Your Dog #2

Sounds To Confuse Your Dog #2 by Victor Lams

Dead Trek Relatives

As threatened, here is my latest track. The theme was provided by a friend as the track was commissioned to be a site theme song (more on that later).

Dead Trek Relatives by Victor Lams

Ye Olde Faire Knights

Just learning my way around a new library (Garritan's World Instruments), I did this in half an hour this morning. Because, you never know when you'll need a full recorder ensemble!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Ye_Olde_Faire_Knights.mp3

Don't Be Afraid

I'm still on my archive.org old 1950s educational film short kick. Here's a new song inspired by one of the films, along with the film re-edited as a music video. The original film meant to teach kids not to be afraid, but seriously -- what kind of lesson is that to be teaching our kids nowadays?



And here is just the music:

Victor Lams - "Don't Be Afraid"

Repetitive Robot Music

This isn't a real song, just me messing around for an hour or so with some synths and a new channelstrip plugin (TeamDNR's Mixcontrol). If you like repetitive robot music, then you might enjoy this.



http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Repetitive_Robot_Music.mp3

Pater Noster (Latin for Kids!)

There's never been an easier way to learn the "Pater Noster"!



I'm not sure what I was thinking when I had this idea, because shoehorning plainsong into one of the most rigid forms of music around was probably not the best idea in the world, but I thought it'd be fun to hear once I'd made it. And I'm pleased with the results.

Also -- here is the audio file so you can download it for your iPods:

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Pater_Noster.mp3

I'd Hit That

Here is a delightful instrumental / percussion amuse-bouche to whet your palate. Nothing too profound here, just playing around with various percussional timbres, whence the title.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Id_Hit_That.mp3

Testing, testing. One, two. One, two.

Just migrating the ol' podcast. New music will be arriving shortly!

What's this? A webcomic?

Sorry about the lack of new music these past two months. I've been focusing on learning how to draw comics, and you can see my first self-directed learning project here: "Ulysses The Undead".

I'll start up music-making soon, though, I promise.

Off the Grid

No synths this time (a first for me)! Used only the instruments pictured above (plus my voice and our kitchen wok-lid as a gong, not pictured): ashiko hand-drum (djembe like), kosika shaker, tambourine, box drum, mbira/kalimba, bamboo saxophone, and some weird bamboo/reed whistle. I used ample instances of Celemony Melodine to keep everything in tune (and repitch a few notes), and looped some of the parts a bit (and the 4-on-the-floor "kick" is the ashiko pitched down roughly 5 semitones). Most were recorded with an SM58, my voice with my CAD-M177. The reverb is a cave impulse in Cakewalk Perfect Space.



http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Off_the_Grid.mp3

Popcicle Man

If you're offended by this, you're not wrong.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Popcicle_Man.mp3

General Dynamics

I realized this past weekend that I hadn't done a two-minute rock opera yet about a mechanical engineer who steals a tank. So I fixed that (there's a General Dynamcs tank plant near Detroit that we used to drive past whenever we'd visit our grandparents, so that's the Michigan connection).

This features Alchemy, Minimonsta, Jamcussion, SonikSynth 2, and a backwards guitar chord (that I played all by myself!).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_General_Dynamics.mp3

Lyric:
He's thinking about getting the band back together
But he knows there never really was a band
He found a funny video he'd like to show his son
But he won't see him until next weekend.
And it's too early to get excited about going home
According to the 20-year clock up on the shelf
Not that there's anything to get excited about
And these brackets won't design themeselves.

General Dynamics
You can't be quiet, you can't be loud
General Dynamics
Don't deny it, stand out from the crowd
Because when you look back at all your time
and find that from it all you shrank
That's the time to break out of line
And steal yourself a tank.

Maybe it was a problem with AutoCAD
Maybe just missing the life he'd never had,
After years of being nothing he just wanted to be bad,
And that night he was working late.
He had a friend in the guard at the shack
They'd gone to school together many years back
And so just by faking a heart attack
He subdued him and made it through the factory gate.

Fire that bad boy up
M-1-A
Slam that hatch door shut
They'll finally listen, today.

General Dynamics
Quiet time is over now
General Dynamics
Never liked this fac'try anyhow
Like Hell! the Earth belongs to the weak
Or to those whom it destroys
Maybe they'll listen when you speak
If your tank backs it up with noise.

None of this was really necessary
Could have avoided the run-in with the military
And the Page One obituary
With a little general dynamics.

Egg Farm

Here's my attempt to do an old-school-style baby-maker (extended slow jam) in an age of embryonic stem-cell research. I think it's one of the longest pieces I've ever done.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Egg_Farm.mp3

Conditor Alme Siderum

It's a traditional evening prayer chant for Advent in Latin ("Creator of the stars of night"), done here as kind of a downtempo lounge-core thing (Chantcore?). I used Sonik Synth, SampleTron, SampleMoog, ReTank loops, and Alchemy.

Consider it an early Christmas present! :-)

Lyric and English Translation

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Conditor_Alme_Siderum.mp3

"Don't speak Latin in front of the books." - Giles

Celestine

Fun with some new loops, mercifully short.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Celestine.mp3

God Blessed The States

I'm going to post some odds and ends from this year, things I haven't posted yet. Starting with this one from February's KVR contest. We had to do a cover of a tune written by another KVRian, in this case, S.HUSH, who is a hilarious songwriter. I used an effect on my voice (CloneEnsmble), multitracked 8 times, with some ambient crowd noise, and a marching band beat I did in Battery 3... it's weird, but maybe convincing in its execution. In case you're curious, the original was a Mellencamp-esque rock tune.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0802_DrAX_God_Blessed_The_States.mp3

Spreading The Wealth Around

A little anti-redistributionalist Calypso for you! I play the ukulele on it. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Spreading_The_Wealth_Around.mp3

Compromised

This song was written to award the top pledger for the quarterly Catholic and Enjoying It Tin Cup Rattle pledge drive, Irenaeus. The idea was that I'd write a song about whatever topic he chose. One of the options given was "How about a generic liberal pro-abortion Catholic politician (a la Pelosi, Biden, Sebelius, etc)?".

So with Joe as my inspiration, I cranked out this piece, by far my loudest yet (and the first to feature my actual guitar playing all the way through).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Compromised.mp3

Approximate lyric:

Compromised,
I compromised.
Compromised,
I'm compromised.

I was born with a clear and distinct idea,
Between what was wrong and what was right.
From Augustus and Aquinas and then brought down to me:
The Truth was taught impermutably.

Before I Compromised,
I compromised.
Compromised,
I'm compromised.

I became a lawyer and then a senator,
I took my position very seriously,
Faithfully represented those who'd elected me,
But all that changed in 1973

That's when it soon became apparent,
That the winds of change were blowing,
Privacy became the mandate,
Basic human rights forgoing,

Personhood now redefined
We had a simple choice to make
We chose to change our party line
and I my principles forsake

Protect the innocent the weakest of the weak
Fight for the poor the huddled, disenfranchised
Were words I lived by but now I defied
Turns out it's easy when you've got money on your side.

Actions without responsibility
or consequences gives you a free ride
Why defend the defenseless when it's so
much easier to live with yourself after you've

Compromised,
Like I compromised.
Compromised,
I'm compromised.

One consequence of my decision
Is the matter of my religion
I sound like I'm some kind of nut
When I say "I'm personally opposed, but"

When you've speaking on the stumps
turns out that's good enough for chumps
And for thirty years it was sufficient
To shut up Cardinals and Bishops.

But now things seem to be changing again
Can't get away with what I did then
God forbid I need a defense
When I can no longer claim ignorance

It gets harder to be a politician
When you're at odds with your tradition
And when I'm denied my final prize
At least I'll know it's because I
...
Compromised.

I Want A Pen

Playing around with some new effects today, needed a vocal line, so got our six-year-old son in front of the microphone and said "Come on, then! Sing something!"

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Xander_Lams_-_I_Want_A_Pen.mp3

He did a fine job!

Comments Closed

Nothing is more depressing than reading an inciteful blog or forum post, having the perfect reply, and then being denied because either the poster has closed comments for that post or because you've previously been banned (for being right, usually).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Comments_Closed.mp3

Might not want to listen to this with the kids around as it contains a phrase which contains a word some may consider objectionable.

Shill

It's new music! Inspired by current events! It's longer than 2 minutes!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Shill.mp3

Shill
(Words and Music by Victor Lams)

You say that you are hopeful because the winds of change are blowing,
And you think is a good thing 'cause you don't like how things are going.
But change taken by itself is both a blessing and a curse,
Sometimes it makes things better, but more often makes them worse.

It's appealing, so seductive, easy to get caught up in it,
But before you do something stupid maybe you should wait a minute.
Take a moment, take a breather, and when you do, think through it:
Change doesn't happen by itself it takes some one to do it.

Someone has to write the speeches,
Then the politician preaches,
To those whom make sure that it reaches,
Seems like common sense it teaches:

"Are we for change? Yes we can!
Just don't ask us about our plan.
It's all to nothing apropos,
Just gotta upset that status quo!"

Now there's no easy way to say this, it appears that you've been smitten,
There are phone calls to be made and many emails to be written,
Your family might not trust us and your friends, they are all haters,
But don't worry because one day we'll be proud to call them traitors.

Now deep inside your mind you might hear a tiny voice,
This is only normal: your conscience is a choice.
But your morals must be sacrificed so we can get elected,
Media prophecies fulfilled, and history corrected.

And if people are unwilling,
To our Audacious Hope fulfilling,
You'll find that some blood needs spilling,
Truth be told we'll make a killing!

Before you know it you've bought the line,
Seems so obvious it must be a sign:
Change we can believe in, still,
Too bad you've just become our...

Shill!
You're our puppet now, you're our,
Shill!
Please shut-up it now, you're our,
Shill!
And we have to pity it, you're our,
Shill!
Just our useful idiot.

Thank you for your help, as we said you've been quite useful,
Now it's our turn to confess that we maybe haven't been quite truthful,
There's no way we could provide all that stuff that you've been promised,
Better luck, live and learn: you can't cheat someone who's honest.

We're the ones we've been waiting for to,
Bring about our new world order,
Looks pretty much the same now though,
Except it's us stealing the show.

Turns out I wasn't the Messiah,
Not Apollo, Zeus, or Gaia,
Only one thing really was true,
We all really needed you to...

Shill! for us
You're our puppet now, you're our,
Shill!
Please shut-up it now, you're our,
Shill!
And we have to pity it, you're our,
Shill!
Just our useful idiot.

Shill!
You're our puppet now, you're our,
Shill!
Please shut-up it now, you're our,
Shill!
And we have to pity it, you're our,
Shill!
Just our useful idiot.

Pop Corn

Dr. Apostrophe X and The Kornhole Krew present:

"Pop Corn"


http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0808-DrAX-Pop_Co rn.mp3

It's "Moog-hop"!

Used: Nusofting Broken Drum Machine, Battery 3, Sample Moog, Oligarc

Lyric:
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

My name's DJ Endosperm and I'm on a bike,
Riding through your stomach 'cuz I don't like to hike,
I'm filled with starch and fiber, too,
And compared to greasy chips I'm very good for you.
But I'm not like my unpopped kin,
I don't come out looking like I went in.
When you're watching TV I'm the perfect snack,
So come on over and grab a hold of my sack.

Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

I'm the Kernel MC and I refuse to pop,
Popping is for losers and for crooked cops.
People say I just need a little more heat,
Maybe, like your momma needs more stinky feet.
Yeah, I don't make kids smile, I only make them frown.
Try to bite on me and I'll break your crown.
You want some food, eat some chicken coated in penko,
'Cuz I'm Bob Barker and you just lost at Plinko.

Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

They call me Little Orvie short for RedenbachURR.
You might think I'm dead, but I'm still hURR.
I'm over 100 years old but I'm rockin' the nation,
Kept alive in suspended animation.
ConAgra thaws me out once every few yURRS,
When they need to pitch popcorn to consumURRS.
People try to drown me but I don't show signs of stopping,
Because my gourmet corn is the best for popping.

Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Put us in the mircowave until we get warm,
Pop! Pop! We're about to pop corn,
Make some poor kernels wish they'd never been born.

New Album Out Today!?

Well, I thought it would take a few more weeks, but apparently three days is all it takes for Amazon MP3 and Lala to post your new album on their websites for listening (LaLa gives you the first listen for free) and purchase. iTunes, Rhapsody, and eMusic, it seems take a bit longer.

So, yeah: phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals is out today!!!!

Expect a full page for the album soon, including a link to purchase a physical CD copy of the product (once I approve it). But in the meantime if you want to get your (mostly) mellow electronic jazz downtempo loungecore chiptune worldbeat groove on, head over to the album on Amazon MP3 or Lala and give it a listen (and if you like it, download a track or two or the whole album). It's very chill.



Also, while at Amazon MP3 or Lala (and soon iTunes and Rhapsody) you may notice another single I've recently released, "The Flying House of Loreto".



This is a track I did a little while back which has become very popular on the net (to date this year, it's been downloaded over 16,000 times from my website). If you like, give it a listen and a download too. It may just give you the inspiration you need to do whatever it is you need to do today (heck, I mean, if a house can fly anything is pretty much possible). Jackie did the cover design for the single, incorporating one of her recent fiber art pieces... I've gotten a lot of good feedback on that.

And, as always, if you haven't gotten your daily dose of Robot Love recently, you can download my first CD on iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon MP3 and a number of other places around the net.

Requiem for an SMS

Here's another from our poking-around-on-my-harddrive file, a requiem for the Sega Master System.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album (as "Game Over"), available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

2005 Funk Jam

Going through the hard-drive looking for some stuff to clean up for a possible future release, and found this experiment (probably messing around with the Jamstix demo), from July, 2005.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_2005_Funk_Jam.mp3

Car Wreck (Hang Up And Drive)

Song #75 on our 100-song odyssey is a collaboration with the eminent 1-2-Many, who is a fixture on the KVRaudio.com website, particularly in their monthly song contests. Collaboration may be pushing it a bit because all I really did on this one was write some words and sing them -- he did all the music writing and production, so it was quite a nice break for me. I think it came out really well.



http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0805_drx2many_car_wreck.mp3

Barry White vs. The Chipmunks

Since I guess we're on the retro tip, here's another old song; this song is possibly from late 1998 or early 1999? I can't remember. It was done "live" (though multitracked) to my Roland multitrack recorder which could do formant shifting, which explains the vocals. I never really intended this to be Barry White or the Chipmunks, I just needed a name for the project after I'd recorded it.

http://www.victorlams.com/music/victor_lams_-_bwvtc.mp3

Oh, and if someone could please explain to me why "The Flying House of Loreto" has been downloaded 4,000 times already this month (and how I can possibly cash in on this), please let me know. It's been gaining in popularity over the last few months and I have no idea why.

Fake Cop!

Here's an oldie, from 2001 (right after the "Robot Love" era). It's about all those people who pretend to be cops... that's right, they are "Fake Cops!" A lot of time has gone by between this song and now, so you'd really think my music would sound better today than it did then. You would think.

http://www.victorlams.com/music/Victor_Lams_-_Fake_Cop.mp3

In The Eye

...in which our singer recounts his final moments inside the eye of a tornado (it's a Midwestern United States thing, you wouldn't understand). Lyric here.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_In_The_Eye.mp3

In The Eye (Instrumental Version)

I'll be posting the version of this new tune with vocals in a day or two. In the meantime, enjoy it in all its pristine, unbesmirched, Moog-tastic goodness.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_In_The_Eye_Instrumental.mp3

M.A.R.V.I.N.

Song #70 on our 100-song journey is from early, 2003, when I found myself laid-off. It's named in honor of Michigan's Automated Response Voice Interactive Network, aka. M.A.R.V.I.N., who cheerfully greeted me every other Friday to confirm I'd been looking for work. As for the piece itself, it's kind of a jazzy-funky instrumental tune done with an old music program that came bundled free with Computer Music magazine. Listening to this one again after so many years, for all of its low-fi grunginess, it's really one of my favorites. It reminds me of a time when (like it or not) I had a lot of time and attention to give a piece.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

The Canadian Human Rights Commission

UPDATE (02/19): I've tweaked the mix a little to make the vocals stand out a little more (maybe too much -- yes, I've heard of EQ, but there's no time to fix that now).

If you want to know what this song is about, just google "Canadian Human Rights Commission". They're both wacky and evil. Free Mark Steyn!

By request, here is the (approximate) lyric (I always change the words a bit when I sing them to make them flow better and the "Der Kommissar" parts were improvised on the spot):

------------
The Commission:

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our coalition
Of Ministers and Politicians
Here to make it right.

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Your enemies submitted their petition
In opposition to your position
And we're sensitive to their plight.

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Please offer your deposition
Then we'll give you our rendition
And a chance for you to be contrite

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
You've been found guilty by our intuition
We'd like to offer you extradition
Go quietly and without a fight

Der Kommissar:

We apologize for putting you in this position.
But you must understand, we have no choice, we are the Canadian Human Rights Commission.

The Commission:

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our coalition
Of Ministers and Politicians
Here to make it right

We're the Canadian Human Rights Commission
Welcome to our inquisition
Quelling all our opposition
But never ever being impolite.

Der Kommissar:

We're afraid of jihadists and the homosexuals,
But we're not afraid of you and your Papal bulls.
You can believe what you want to, you can believe what you will,
But if you speak your mind, we'll move right in for the kill.
------------

(And I think that's just about every rhyme there is for "commission" though I'm sure you can probably think of others).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Canadian_Human_Rights_Commission.mp3

Huh?

One of the rare pleasures of working on music so randomly over the years is that once in a while, while searching for something else, you happen across a file in your working directory entitled "Huh.wav" and when you pull it up to give it a listen, you have absolutely no recollection of ever working on it. It's even better when that tune is kind of neat.

As near as I can tell, listening to this, is that I was trying out some new gate effect, on whatever Saturday afternoon I did this. Also, I'm not really sure how the "Good Eats" theme made it in there at the end.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Huh.mp3

I Shot The Freak

Yeah, I shot the freak.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_I_Shot_The_Freak.mp3

Kennedy Vs. The Final Boss

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Kennedy_vs_The_Final_Boss.mp3

Always Ever Only Just

Always Ever Only Just
December 28, 2007

Always Ever Only Just the things we say
Seem to make it better each and every day
Wouldn't it be great if things worked out that way
Always Ever Only Just the things we say

Always Ever Only Just we must obey
Trying to find some reason to get up today
Close my eyes and try to make it all go away
Always Ever Only Just is why we pray

Always Ever Only Just fights with dismay
You find your life in tatters and in disarray
When you keep depression and dispair at bay
Always Ever Only Just winds up okay

Always Ever Only Just leads us astray
Sing our hearts out loud our feelings on display
Characters inside we do our best to portray
'Always Ever Only Just' we call the play.

Always Ever Only Just a Chevrolet
Taken to the clinic for a chest x-ray.
The doctor says he can't entirely rule out foul play
Always Ever Only Just the same cliche

Can't pull away,
Can't throw away,
Can't Wipe away,
Can't laugh away.
Can't turn away,
Can't sneak away,
Can't run away,
Because there's hell to pay.

Always Ever Only Just the things we say
Always Ever Only Just we must obey
Always Ever Only Just leads us astray
Always Ever Only Just winds up okay

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Victor_Lams_-_Always_Ever_Only_Just.mp3

The Weary Blues (Langston Hughes)

Here's an experiment in found audio (the recitation is from Archive.org, and the ambient cafe sounds are from Freesound.org). Computer Music magazine's resident monthly musical gestalt writer, Rachmiel, had this to say about this piece:

"it's hard to know what to do with this. the (profoundly un-negro) accent suggests satire/irony ... as does the cocktail accompaniment. but the text is for real and langston hughes is not normally a prime target for smartassery ... truly odd. :-)"

I think that best sums it up. Maybe it's a statement on globalization, maybe it's not.

Victor_Lams_-_Langston_Hughes_The_Weary_Blues.mp3

Oh, No! Giardiasis!

A few years back, the Center for Disease Control approached my free-jazz quintet, "No Boundaries", about doing a little project for them to raise awareness among preschool-aged children about the dangers of infectious disease.

Given the popularity of the Australian children's band, "The Wiggles", at the time, they thought it'd be a good idea to create their own version of the phenomenon, "The Wiggles Experience", which would be modeled (a little too closely, it would turn out) after the original Wiggles.

We played a few concerts (and even released one album, "The Big Red Sore") as "The Wiggles Experience" before the lawsuit, but they all wound up the same way: a minute or two of educational singing followed by 20 minutes of free-jazz exploration. Eventually, we lost the gig and the CDC decided to go some other route. Seriously, I don't know what they decided to do, I haven't thought about it in a while.

Anyway, here's one of our mega-hits from that exciting period. drawing the nation's consciousness to one serious intestinal parasite in particular:

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0808_DrAX_Oh_No_Giardiasis.mp3

For more information about this dangerous condition, please check out the WebMD page on giardiasis. It is, seriously, no good for you.

Fat Camp Lap Dance!

I've begun to re-enter the monthly contests at KVRAudio.com. Here is last month's submission. I have to apologize in advance for the inappropriateness of some of these tunes, but hey... maybe you'll get a chuckle out of one (or more) of them.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/0708_DrAX_Fat_Camp_Lap_Dance.mp3

Everybody Poops (Phreakbox's Big Poop Remix)

Here's another new one for you. It's a Phreakbox dance remix of the Sock Monkeys' instant classic "Everybody Poops".

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/Sock_Monkeys_-_Everybody_Poops_Remix.mp3

Listen to the original on the Sock Monkeys' webpage.

Quiet Time

After a long break, it's time for Song #60, and it's a new one. With the coming of Spring my musical mojo is starting to thaw and I have a couple of new projects I'm working on. One of which is Phreakbox, which will be a more minimalist sonic experience than I've recently attempted. Anyway, enjoy this simple tune.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

W3 3 K1NG5

In honor of the Feast of the Epiphany comes another track from the ill-fated Christmas project. Like most of my interpretations of classic hymns, this one received the complaint that the melody is not brought to the foreground enough. My typical response stands: when I interpret classic hymns, I like to give them a more impressionistic interpretation, as opposed to a literal one. For the intended project, this also may have been a little too... well, just listen for yourself.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_W3_3_K1NG5.mp3

Let The King of Glory Come (Demo)

This is another demo I did for the Christmas Project That Never Came To Be. I don't know who wrote this song (I think it's in the Gather hymnal), but I did the arrangement (including some additional lyrics for the bridge section), and in my own humble opinion, it's probably one of the best arrangements I've ever done (especially considering my set-up at the time). Actually, listening over the early mixes for this just now, I actually had a funkier arrangement that I liked a lot better (seriously, some pr. It was probably too funky. Anyway, here's the one I did and recorded some rather Barney-esque vocals for.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_LTKOGC.mp3

Veni, Veni, Emmanuel (Demo)

About four years ago I was asked to start work on producing some tracks for a Christmas CD. While the project never really came about (some of my arrangements were a little... ahead of their time), I've recently discovered on a back-up drive some of the tracks I was working on at the time.

Here is one of them. Again, this is a demo recording so it's not complete and my vocals here were only ever intended to be placeholders (even so, they're buried quite deep in the mix). Anyway, here it is for curiousity's sake. Maybe someday I'll go back and record the vocals. Who knows. If there's any interest, I might (only with a real singer, though).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Veni_Veni_Demo.mp3

I Love Sandwiches!

It's been almost three months since I've written any music and they always say that the first tune back isn't, well, it isn't solid gold. It is, however, an entry into the KVRAudio "Eat Me!" contest (about food).

I Love Sandwiches!

Michigan: The Land Shaped Like a Hand

I'm back! And I bring a new tune. This tune is actually a collaboration with the excellent Rockstar_not who, in addition to coming up with the concept of the piece (an entry into kvraudio.com's September "geography-themed" contest) wrote and sang the lyric. Basically the good parts are his. I contributed some wacked-out, late Friday night vocalizations and the "Motown Mash-Up" rhythm track. Enjoy it or don't. Just never for get we come from a land shaped like a hand.

http://www.victorlams.com/kvr-vst/06_09_DrRASNX_Michigan.mp3

And, yes. We know Q isn't from Michigan.

...and we lost.

I did this song in August of 2004. It's difficult to say what it's really all about (if you have any guesses, let me know!). As near as I can figure it's an anti-protest, anti-"progress" song. You can also read into it (or out of it?) some of the baby-boomers' reaction to 9/11, which is why I'm posting it today. Regardless, I'm rather fond of how this came out, production-wise.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_and_we_lost.mp3

How To Tie Your Shoes

This song, written for the August, 2006, kvraudio.com contest, is a statement on our culture's obsession with teaching everything didactically, as a set of instructions, instead of teaching by showing or doing (which is how all of us learned to tie our shoes). It attempts to show the frustration on the part of the instructor when the pupil can't follow the confusing instructions (though they are technically accurate) and the defiant resignation of the student (mad props to 'Xander for the collab!), in both asserting and conceding that he'll never tie his shoes, provided with that method of instruction.

Oh, yeah; it's pretty funny, too. Oh, and I was able to exorcise some of my childhood's own personal demons with this one. All in all, not bad for a day's work.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_How_To_Tie_Your_Shoes.mp3

Hail Holy Queen

Greetings! We're back with another song for you, this one in honor of and to get you in the mood for tomorrow's Feast of the Assumption of Mary.

I did this track back in November of 2003 and at the time some folks felt that the melody of the hymn was not represented enough to justify the title. Maybe they're right. Or maybe, just maybe, the piece is meant to be evocative of the hymn in some other way than as a strict representation of it. Who knows.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album (as "H.H.Q.", available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

It's 2 Damn Muggy (In Here)

Well, that was a fine break. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. Now we are back and in honor of the truly unbearable weather outside Whimsey HQ, we have this buried gem from Summer, 1997, when we found ourselves chained-up in an apartment with no air conditioning for three weeks over the hottest period of the summer with only a copy of Jamiroquai's "Travelling Without Moving" CD to keep us company. Somehow, we pulled through and we suspect you will, too.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Its_2_Damn_Muggy.mp3

(My Brain's) Inside the Computer

It's song number 50!

This song I did a couple of weeks ago for the July, 2006, KVRAudio contest. The subject of the contest is "Genre Hybrid" and this song attempts to blend West African Highlife (okay, with some South African elements) with Synthpop. It's gotten some pretty good comments from the other participants, many of whom believe it sounds like David Byrne as envisioned by "Weird" Al Yankovic. Others have picked up on the apparent thematic resonance of the paranoia-infused lyric with many They Might Be Giants lyrics. I guess I'll take both of those as compliments.

This song also marks the half-way point of our musical journey through the Cacophonous World of Professor Whimsey. As summer is in full swing, I think we might take a break of a week or so and resume with more or less regular song postings throughout the rest of the summer as we travel ever onwards to our final goal of 100 songs.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_My_Brains_Inside_The_Computer.mp3

Midnight

Here's an evocative little tune I put together - judging from the file details - in September, 2003. Not much to say about this one, except that it's now track #49 in our one-hundred song journey.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Ionospheric Express

I recently uncovered a hidden trove of audio I did in Spring, 2003. Many of the tracks are unfinished (some tunes I look forward to getting back to someday -- provided I can track down where all the little audio bits wound up when our PC died that summer), but a few I actually managed to complete at the time. This is one of those tracks.

I said of this track, upon its completion back in April, 2003: "A nice groove to chill-out to. Physically modelled hammered-instruments and ethnic percussion are supported by a simple bass groove and ethereal melodies. Techie notes: this song was sequenced in Computer Music's free ComputerMuzys program and only free VSTi were used (dmiHammer, MS-404, and CM-101)."

Anyway, I like listening to this song because it helps keep alive the hope that space travel may one day become a reality.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Rain Dogs for Supper

Our second "Buried Folderol Week" concludes with a short tune from (I'm guessing) 1997. This is the result of another one of those situations where I was up too late during my college years and had half an idea for a song and so fired up the four-track and put some stuff down. In this case the results were not particularly... good. But maybe you'll find something endearing about this track, who knows.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Rain_Dogs_For_Supper.mp3

Straight Shots

I guess it's time for another Buried Folderol Week here on the old Cacophonous World (you in the back! stop groaning!). This distinctive piece of buried folderol comes to us directly from Autumn, 1996. My setup at the time was the Roland JV-1000 synth, an old Roland phrase sampler (which I sold on Harmony Central the next year), an Alesis SR-16 drum machine, an SM-58 microphone, my trusty Yamaha four-track cassette recorder, and a fictional character: the quintessential Lounge Lizard, Mr. Straight Shots (nee Straight Shotz). Anyway, this was all done "live" to four-track, including the various vocal layerings and sound effects. And yes, I guess I had been listening to George Duke's "Reach For It" before I wrote this one.

This particular mix I did earlier this year, hooking up the four-track to my PC. Unforunately, the pan pots got a little dirty all those years in storage and no amount of compressed air could prevent some crackling as I tried to duplicate the wild panning effects during playback. I ultimately scaled back on the panning and this is what we're left with.

File this one under "juvenilia".

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Straight_Shots.mp3

My Weblog (Demo)

My weblog recently celebrated it's fifth anniversary (though it's kind of weak now). Around the time I started the weblog (2001), I wrote this tune in a kind of Lionel Richie/Commodores groove. The whole "I want a boy..." section was taken from some random girl's weblog. My co-worker at the time had found it and she and I both agreed it was just about the saddest thing we'd ever read, so it fit the whole pathos of the tune. I never really got around to finishing this tune up, but the lack of polish maybe fits the subject matter.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_My_Weblog-Demo.mp3

Spiritual Combat!

Let's take a trip back to the early 1990s when everyone was techno-ing up a storm. I did this track a couple of weeks back for a KVRAudio contest and when I played it for the host of The Catholic Cast podcast, he said he'd like to use it there as well. Consider this a sneak peek for when that podcast does eventually return.

For those who are curious, that's Fr. John Corapi on vocals. If you think it's cool, you should buy his tapes and DVDs.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Spiritual_Combat.mp3

Cold Duck Time (Interior Monologue)

I know "Weird Jazz Week" was last week, but I just remembered this song and wanted to slip it in. I did it in September, 2004, for a kvraudio.com contest where the theme was to create a song using only one instrument. While this is what I technically did, perhaps this wasn't directly in the spirit of the competition.

Regardless, here it is along with sincere apologies to the dearly departed soul of Eddie Harris.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Cold_Duck_Time.mp3

Coloring Monsters

It's song 42! Time for something extra special: the first song to feature our son who provided not only the ferocious roar but (obviously) the theme and subject matter of this song (by virtue of engaging in the aforementioned activity but also in needing to reminded that monsters are not always to be feared -- though I guess it doesn't help that I taught him about grues to keep him in bed). It may be lame to admit that there are some of your own songs that you really like, that you're really proud of how they came out, but this is definitely one of those.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Coloring_Monsters.mp3

Meanderin' Orange

I did this tune in early 2003 when I got my first "ROMpler" (a virtual instrument which plays instruments which have been sampled but to which you can't add your own content), Sonik Synth (one). Anyway, I wanted to see how faithfully I could emulate a Jazz quartet (and string section). Unfortunately, to some ears I strove to such a degree for authenticity in the trumpet part -- simulating some detuning due to an uneven flow of air through the instrument -- that at some point it goes a little way flat and the trumpeter sounds less like Miles Davis and more like the mortally wounded bugler in Sonny Giannotta's 1962 comedy recording "Last Blast of The Blasted Bugler" (my parents had a record of that and played it for me when I was a kid; if you're familiar with the recording you'll realize that explains an awful lot. If you have a digital copy of that recording, long out of print, please email me).

Otherwise I think this is pretty slick. Also, you may have noticed by now that I tend to give my instrumentals names with bad puns in them. This is not by any form of intent. Regardless, "Weird Jazz Week" is now concluded.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Meanderin_Orange.mp3

(Life Is) Salty

Time to let the Professor pick the theme.

I, Professor Whimsey, henceforth and without further skiddoo decree this week to be "Weird Jazz Week" here in the Cacophonous World.

Here is a track from Victor's "Robot Love" CD, written and recorded in the summer of 2000. Much has been said about this track, that Victor wrote the first two lines in Salzburg, Austria, and then the rest three years later in Michigan; that the psychotic spoken word part in the bridge was not written by Victor at all, but was spoken aloud by one of his former co-workers and friends and transcribed by another former co-worker and friend. Much has been written, it's true, and so it is hard to seperate legend from fact. In that spirit, here is the song.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Life_Is_Salty.mp3

Captain Sisko's Badasss Song

Our second "Buried Folderol Week" concludes on the same note it began: that of incredibly rare favorites (of mine, anyway) made with found or sampled audio. This Friday's tune is one of my favorites and it actually came together in an interesting manner. It's no secret that I consider Deep Space Nine to be the best television series of all time, and it was my companion through most of High School, College, and then my first forays into the Real World. I learned a lot from Captain Sisko. Anyway, towards the end of season five, I believe, I was up late at night and the show happened to be on and since it was an awesome episode (the Dominion's all in a snit because Sisko mined the wormhole with cloaked, self-replicating mines) I decided to put a microphone (the ol' Shure SM-58) in front of the television's speaker and record some of whatever Captain Sikso was saying (in this case it's a great exchange with Jeffrey Comb's Weyoun character).

Anyway, once I had the recorded audio from the TV on one track of the four-track cassette recorder, I grabbed a drum part from my Alesis SR-16 drum machine (since it was so late at night, and you may recognize this, I recycled the same drum program from "Too Damn Muggy"). I recorded in a bassline along with the programmed drum part onto track two of the four-track, which left two open tracks for improvised synths, which I recorded directly onto tape and, as they say in France, "Veiled!": a defining moment in my musical history.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Captain_Siskos_Badasss_Song.mp3

The Pirate Movie Song

To kick off our second Buried Folderol Week (which features songs which use samples that are, shall we say, hopefully covered under the fair-use umbrella), we've got a real rare treat for you: "The Pirate Movie Song" which I did as a present for my (then) fiance back in 1999 using samples from one of her favorite movies.

Anyway, this song has been rarely heard as this is the first time I've (I mean we've) officially posted it anywhere. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_The_Pirate_Movie_Song.mp3

Do You Have A Friend?

Another song written and performed by our neice, but this one was done five years ago. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/KK_-_Do_You_Have_A_Friend.mp3

KK's Song

This song was written and performed by our neice, KK, for her mom this past Mother's Day. All I did on this pretty much is work up a sparse arrangement (consider this a demo; though there is one interesting bit of trivia here: the bridge section contains my first-ever played guitar part) and record KK singing in our spare-bedroom studio. Anyway, my rushed production work not necessarily withstanding, I think this one came out pretty good (and yes, a lot of that is due to the fact that an actual singer/songwriter wrote and sang it).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/KK_-_KKs_Song.mp3

Kyoto Subway

Does Kyoto have a subway? If it does, does it sound anything like this? I don't know the answer to either question; I've never been to Kyoto and the way things are going I probably never will. Put this song on loop playback and just chill with it for a few minutes.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Kyoto_Subway.mp3

The Time For Bed Truck

Every evening here, in Summer, as the days grow longer and there is the need of such a thing, the Time For Bed Truck makes its rounds around the city letting all of the children know that it's time to march off to bed. Tonight I stuck a stereo microphone out the window as it drove by.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_The_Time_For_Bed_Truck.mp3

Knock Me Up

"Unmitigated Disaster Week" concludes (a day late, naturally) with this deservedly forgotten gem from August, 2004. A former co-worker once told me that in the UK "knock me up" was slang for asking someone to visit you (just like "ring me up" was slang for asking someone to phone you). I have no idea if this is true, but it sounded like a good chance to exercise some house-oriented double entendres.

As I was doing this song for another KVRAudio contest, it had to be under two minutes long (hence the abrubt fade out). Forcing what should be a seven minute funk jam into around 2 minutes more than anything else, I think, is what hurt this song. Maybe I'll do a longer version sometime.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Knock_Me_Up.mp3

Naked Human Shields

Yes, I realize it's Tuesday and I'm a day late posting the first song of this week. But, sometimes, when you try to do art, things go horribly wrong. This week, then, honors those rare moments when despite my best efforts things don't go exactly as planned, the train jumps the tracks, and what you're left with is a catastrophic trainwreck. Yes it's "Unmitigated Disaster" week.

First up is song number 2 of 2 of my doomed "Interactive Songwriting Song" project ("Urine Stains on the Carpet" being song number 1 of 2). The idea was the first reply to a 'blog post would dictate the topic of the song I'd write that week. Someone suggested I write a song about those naked war protesters who were hanging out in Iraq before the war. For some incredibly stupid reason I did the song and didn't end up cancelling the project until the following week.

Anyway, the good news is this is pretty much as bad as it gets. The bad news is that it's pretty darn bad.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_nakedhumanshields.mp3

Sing Me

The first part of 2003 really sucked and I guess this song was in response to that. This may be one of the songs I go back and re-record at some point, but not tonight. Oh, this also wraps up our first ever Synthpop Week here.

Judging from the web stats, this has become one of my more popular songs over the last few months, but I can't tell if that's because people like the song or because some other song that people like has the same name and that's why people are downloading it.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Sing_Me.mp3

Mr. Do

I declare this week to be SYNTHPOP WEEK!

First up, a fine track from November (I think?), 2003. This really isn't based on the theme to fine arcade classic "Mr. Do" at all, but when writing it I was inspired by my memories of Mr. Do whomping unicorns on their little pointy heads in "Mr. Do's Castle" (probably one of the most fun arcade games of all time).

So enjoy this tune. It's filled with many joy-filled memories.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album (as "Mr. Do (Does It)"), available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Randy Racooney Themesong

While searching my hard-drive in search of this Friday's tune, I came across this buried gem.

There's really not much to say about this except that originally this tune was intended as a themesong for "Chester, The Pink Inflatable Mylar Bunny" (and only one other person knows who that is) but Randy insisted on having a themesong before he'd consent to doing The World's First 'Plog, so the words were changed around and this is what we're left with. Enjoy.

(And yes, that is how he spells his name).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Randy_Racooney.mp3

Bossa No. 6

Based on cryptic download stats, this song remains popular after it's conception in November, 2005, as a KVRAudio contest entry (the theme was "Easy and Cheesy in the Retro Lounge" and, against all odds, it won).

I originally intended this to be a parody of Mambo #5 (hence the title), but I found myself incapable of doing that. The phrase "Falling down a flight of stairs catches you unawares", however, was stuck in my mind at the time and I found myself more than capable of writing a song all about that.

Anyway, this song is dedicated to all of the Mrs. Fletchers out there who have fallen and can't get up.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Bossa_No_6.mp3

The Apostles Creed

Another song for the Easter Season (I suppose). This is a Catechism Rock song. I really must do more of those.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_The_Apostles_Creed.mp3

Can't Nobody

Happy Easter! In honor of the day, here's some Synthpop/Gospel for everyone, straight from 2003.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Cant_Nobody.mp3

A Robot Overcompensates

I think this track would fall into the realm of self-parody if I hadn't spent so much time on it. If this tune were on the WB it would get a TV-14 DSV rating, so protect your kids.

Anyway, I could go into all the production elements of this song (vocals written and sung while I had a sinus infection, which might explain a lot, everything thrown at this track, production-wise, including a Nintendo DS playing Electroplankton, though only for a brief vocal effect) but that might legitimize it too much.

Anyway, you were warned. If you happen to like this song, you can vote for it on the 2006 Pieces of Flair Robot Song Off (and what's wrong with you?).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_A_Robot_Overcompensates.mp3

Tuesday Morning at the Robotics Factory

Retro Robot Song Week (well, the first one of them, anyway) wraps up this week with "Tuesday Morning at the Robotics Factory", one of the first Dr. Apostrophe X songs from 2003. I kind of like it. Anyway, a brand new, really warped robot song will be posted here Monday, unless I think better of it, which I probably will, and you don't want to miss that.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Shelly

There's just one week left for me to complete my submission to the 2006 Pieces Of Flair Robot-Song-Off so while I work hard on that, I've declared this a "Retro Robot Song Week" (or something, use your own imagination to come up with a more clever title). Today's tune is off the Robot Love album. Buy your copy today from any number of fine CD and online music stores.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Shelly.mp3

Shaker Funk

This Friday's tune, wrapping up our eleventh week here in the Cacophonous World, is "Shaker Funk". This tune has been described as "'70s Cop Show Theme meets 'Lord of the Dance'". That description seems accurate to me and the tune itself was already long overdue when I recorded it in 2003. Enjoy!

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Pixel

One of the more common themes in my music, when I'm doing what I like to think I do best, that is, is the elevation of the common or the mundane to an uncommon or slightly more revered state of being ("Shelly", "Coloring Monsters", "60 Ton Whale" -- though the last one does it kind of irreverently I guess). This song is one of those songs.

Is this song about your soul, or is it about the afterimage you see after looking at your computer monitor for a while then closing your eyes very tightly? Do the two have more in common than you think? Anyway, a few people like this song and I guess I'm one of them.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Pixel.mp3

Sins of Omission

Before you get too excited about this, an instrumental track from Decemeber, 2005, I should explain that it was mostly done as a demo track. I won a copy of Garritan's Jazz and Big Band software and this was my first attempt at using it (it can sound a LOT more realistic as evinced by the demos on Garritan's page). Anyway, I'm going to be playing with JABB a lot more in the future, but I kind of like this track, too, anyway.

By the way, I should also mention that this is track 20 in our musical journey through The Cacophonous World of Professor Whimsey which means we are one-fifth of the way to our goal. What surprises lie in store for us? Keep listening to find out.

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

Underground Places

This track, from 2001, is about Missionaries (of a sort). It's some of the finer songwriting I've done (though some disagree) and was mostly written to answer a challenge from my High School band friend, Moses, who was upset because on the whole "Robot Love" CD, I used not one 4-7-3-6-2-5-1 chord progression.

At some point in the future I may revisit this track, or its theme. But not tonight.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Underground_Places.mp3

Ghost Monkey Cop (Who Also Plays The Marimba)

Cop shows and cartoons about animals who solve crimes and are in bands were big in the 1960s. Also big were shows about ghosts and witches. D-list animation studio Banarama/Hibernia thought they'd do the industry one better and create a hip show for kids about a dead monkey who plays the marimba and solves crimes. They even got Charles Mingus' brother Billy Mingus to write and perform the theme song (with out of work lounge act Robbie "The Throat" Vertulli on vocals).

The creepy plot premise proved too much for even the rather permissive sensibilities of the baby boomers in the test audience and, perhaps also due to the suspcious and untimely drug-related death of lead animator "Trippin'" Joe Bostowiz, no further episodes were produced after the pilot (of which no known copies are believed to exist).

Only a single recording of the theme song lived on. And here it is:

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Ghost_Monkey_Cop.mp3

Hooray for Kobe-San!

January 1, 2001: Food Network shows a 24-hour marathon of the Japanese culinary battle show, "Iron Chef". Aspiring songwriter Victor Lams, basking in the warm glow of his recent CD release, watches 18 hours of said marathon, stopping only long enough to visit KMart for more blank videotapes.

Two weeks later, out of that hilariously-dubbed haze of cod-roe ice cream and foi-gras nougat, this song was born.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Hooray_For_Kobe-San.mp3

Idi Amin Is Dead

We wrap up an unusually weird week with an unusually weird song. I did this track, judging from the last modified date on the file, August 18, 2003 -- two days after Amin died. I'm not from Uganda, but by all accounts Idi Amin was a real bastage.

I made it in the demo version of FLStudio (shortly before I got the full version for my birthday) which means that I was able to export the audio file, but not able to save the work in progress. This means the track exists forever in its current form, never again to be revisited. Thank goodness.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Idi_Amin_Is_Dead.mp3

Hive Girl

Professor Whimsey's Logbook: June 12, 1927

The most amazing discovery: upon finally arriving and entering into the Love Hive I was treated not to the sound of choatic buzzing as one would expect, but instead to the most mellifluous sort of droning. It was clear that if I were to navigate this new realm, I would need a guide. Fortunately one presented herself, dancing over in a circular pattern. She told me her name was Beatrice and invited me further into the Hive. Grateful for her kindness of spirit I stayed with her. As the days pass now, however, I am met by the growing awareness of a most disturbing trait in my dear companion: an utter lack of self. For example, if I ask her what she thinks of a cup of honey, she refers back to the collective opinion of the Hive on the subject. So, too, when I broach the topic of our friendship. Such lack of personal awareness is not uncommon among most residents of the Hive, but in particular this does not become her.

I am saddened by this discovery. For now, however, I remain steadfast in the Hive.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Hive_Girl.mp3

2AM Commute

This is probably one of my more "commercial-sounding" tracks, which should tell you something about the overall commericial appeal of my music. This is an instrumental (I've been doing a lot of singing here lately, figured it was time to post an instrumental) in the smooth-jazz vein.

I did this song back in August of 2003 (tech note: this was actually my first full piece made with FL Studio) when, oddly enough, I had to commute to work at 2AM each morning. It wasn't a bad commute as 2AM is probably the only time of day during which driving I-96 into Detroit could actually be considered to be enjoyable.

Anyway, I hope this tune mellows you out a bit. Enjoy your weekend!

NOTE: This song is now available on the new "Phreakbox v1.4: The Instrumentals" album, available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody and on Audio CD.

(Get Down With) The Theme from The Love Hive

New music today! This is the first of a new series of songs about the Love Hive. What is the Love Hive and why should you care? Over the next few weeks we'll explore more of the Love Hive and its philosophy. Stay Tuned.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_The_Love_Hive.mp3

60 Ton Whale

There is not really that much which can be said about this tune other than it was inspired by true events.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_60_Ton_Whale.mp3

Flying House of Loreto

Walked into work today to the shocking and sad news that one of my coworkers had died over the weekend. For some reason this song seems the only one remotely appropriate.

NOTE: This song is now available for download from Amazon MP3, Lala.com, and available soon from iTunes and Rhapsody.

Smoke Stays In Your Lungs

Our first Buried Folderol Week concludes with this rare gem from 1996. When asked in college what my ideal job was, I would often reply (and still do), "lounge lizard". Sadly, the closest I've ever come to realizing this dream, aside from that time I played piano at that one bar in Brugge, was when I would lug my keyboard to the Not Another Cafe in Ann Arbor, Michigan, or to the monthly Intervarsity Christian Fellowship Coffe-House Night at Hillsdale, College. Becuase I had a keyboard and no one could stop me, I would often perform there. I would usually start off with this tune, much to the bewildered stares of the three or four people who'd gathered there, which left me with only 179 additional minutes to fill with my own unique "musical-wallpaper"... until Casey showed up with the rum, at which point the rest of the mucial ambience would kind of degress into mediocre Charlton Heston impressions (and the bewildered stares turned into vacant chairs).

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Smoke_Stays_In_Your_Lungs.mp3

Mellowday

We kick off our first ever Buried Folderol Week with a trip all the way back to 1995 (or 1996 - I'm not sure of the exact date but it was definitely after Stevie Wonder's "Conversation Peace" came out, from the sound of things). I had occasion this past weekend to dig out my old 4-track cassette recorder and Big Box O' Tapes, just to see what was on them. I had almost forgotten, in this age of Digital Audio Workstations, how much fun it was to work with audio tape. And yes, I'm being sarcastic.

I do recall writing and making this track in college (sequencing the music on my Mac with a Roland JV keyboard and Alesis SR-16 drum machine, two sound sources which alone could define the early-to-mid 1990s pop sound) and then playing it for my friends Alec and Kara Lee in their car where it was heartily mocked (I think mostly for the falsetto "Laaaa, la la la la laaa" bit).

Later, I believe, I would go on to enter this song into the John Lennon Songwriting Contest and receive back the 7-word review: "Imagine there's no this song. We did."

Anyway, if you like cheesy pop based on a really lame pun, this is for you.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Mellowday.mp3

P.U.R.G.A.T.O.R.Y.

This song first appeared on Catechism Rock! last year, and you can read the entire saga of how it came to be by clicking on that link. One of my shorter, but more cherished creations.

Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Purgatory.mp3

Have You Dug His Scene?

For this Monday's song, we take a strong left turn into uncharted territory (for me anyway): the remix. "Have You Dug His Scene?" was, I believe, my second attempt at a remix, brought on my repeated listenings of the second Verve CD of remixed jazz classics. The remix is no Brazilian booty-shaker, granted, but perhaps you'll get your groove on to it (and perhaps you won't. It's free. What do you want?).

Anyway, this undertaking, undertook in October, 2003, taught me one thing, at least: if you're going to do a remix, make sure you have something better to work with than a 64kps .mp3 file as your source material (snapped up from the wonderfully eclectic 365 Days Project).

Here's what CrudCrud has to say about the original:

"Yaphet Kotto did this jazz poetry blast back in '68, and it comes off as a bit less Burn Baby, Burn than the Last Poets. Perhaps that is because Kotto is the son of a Cameroonian prince! And his producer on this is fellow African Hugh Masekela. Coming from Africa and seeing the plight of American Blacks in the 1960s, especially the institutionalized poverty, is a bit different than living it. So maybe that is why Kotto doesn't spit the same rage as the Last Poets. Or maybe he is just a different cat. Man, I don't wanna kill your head so forget that jive for a second and check out Kotto's Beat-inspired 'try (as in poe'try)."

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Have_You_Dug_His_Scene.mp3

gothictootsiePOP

For the second tune of the week we turn the pages all the way back to September, 2003, and a cheerful little Goth tune. I forget exactly what provoked this tune. Anyway, here it is in a slightly re-imagined form (I went to re-master the track and realized I'd misplaced my harpichord samples when I upgraded FLStudio, so the whole thing has been updated a bit). The old version is still available somewhere online, though, if you want to hear the differences. Have an enjoyable weekend!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_gothictootsiePOP.mp3

Tech Support

This, one of my longer songs, is a sort of homage to Parliament/Funkadelic keyboardist extraordinaire Bernie Worrell. This is also about a couple of friends who broke up as I was working on the song and still were relying on each other for technical support. I also worked in a call center, which has a lot to do with this song. From March, 2001.

I tried to remix this a bit just now but I can't find the source files anywhere. I was able to remaster is slightly, though.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Tech_Support.mp3

Deadly Friend

This song, ostensibly combining the 1980s style of Hall and Oates with Frank Zappa's "Valley Girl", which was originally composed and recorded in 2003, and which clocks in at just over a minute, is based on everyone's favorite Wes Craven film from 1986. I saw this movie on Channel 20 out of Detroit when I was in High School and it really terrified me. I think some of that spirit of terror manages to come through in the song. Enjoy!

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_Deadly_Friend.mp3

AisFor

For the first tune of this week, we have a completely brand-new tune that I just now put the finishing touches on. It's a dreamy electronic-type piece (and at four-minutes, it's relatively long by my standards) which expresses some of the frustration one feels when reading Google news all day (not that I or anyone I know actually does that). Katie came up with a couple of "AisFors" when I was running a little short without having any idea what nefarious purpose they'd be used for, so I guess I'm forever grateful to her for that.

Anyway: heat up some chai, dim the lights, turn up your speakers, and enjoy.

http://www.victorlams.com/audio/VLams_-_AisFor.mp3